Love Lessons Learned from Darius Lovehall & Nina Mosely 20 Years Later…
Relationship Expert Yanni Brown says There’s something about the classic movie “Love Jones” that I along with so many others simply cannot resist. Yes I have my own copy and the soundtrack, but it is without fail that whenever it’s on television, I break out the popcorn and my notebook. Let’s just say that I have a serious “Jones” for this movie.
I can watch it again and again learning something each time this amazing love story unfold. It is indeed a love story because it encompasses what many relationships endure. It involves poetry, confusion, chaos, unmet expectations, undiscussed expectations, miscommunication, non-communication, assumption, spontaneity, love making, love undefined, redefined, love lost only to discover that it never left.
They experienced what many couples face, they just didn’t know how to love out loud twogether.
ROMANCE… truly is about the possibility of the thing. From the first time you meet, until the time you say I Do. When people say that romance is dead… The reality is that they’ve exhausted the possibilities~ Darius Lovehall
A classic even 20 years later, with so many teachable moments that are still relevant today.
Here are some of the lessons I’ve learned:
Define your ship! (Relationship/Relations/Ships Passing). Don’t assume that you have more or less than what you do, because it can and will cause problems down the line. A conversation about what is is necessary because what is left unsaid is often misunderstood.
Effective Communication is the key to a successful relationship. You want to make sure that you are on the same page or have a clear understanding of what you are doing or not doing.
Your Relationship is and should be about MORE THAN JUST a PHYSICAL one. If your relationship is going to last, then it must be something more than sex. Ask yourself “What do you have besides it?”
Your Relationship will encounter conflict. It cannot be resolved by not communicating. In relationships you have to talk it out and work it out. Discuss the issues at hand be willing to listen as well as offer possible resolutions. A closed mouth will not get fed!
In relationships you are going to make mistakes. The bigger question becomes, are you Committed to the commitment? Are you willing to grow through and from those mistakes to become better twogether?
Don’t wait until it’s too late to discover that this is the person that you can’t live without. Life is too short and if you are lucky you may get one or two people in your life you will love for the rest of your life.
There were so many lessons to be learned from their relationship in this movie. From listening to that single girlfriend who’s offering bad advice to being afraid to tell your friends how you really feel about your significant other to not feeling free enough in your ship to discuss what you want, how you want it or how you feel. The truth of relationships is this…love is what you make it!
All relationships take work, it’s giving and taking while simultaneously giving and taking. In them you have to be willing to work through the hard parts, the difficult stuff, the very thing that makes love worth fighting for. If you ask anyone that’s been married for a number of years most will tell you that it is some of the hardest work that they will do but it’s also worth it!
All of these people running around here jumping, skipping, falling in love…falling in love isn’t difficult. Somebody talk to me, please, about how to stay there…
I believe that this is why I love what I do! I enjoy speaking with couples on how to stay there.
Yanni Brown • Author • Relationship Expert